While drinking their beers, the smart-ass fighter pilot decided to ask, How many did you end up catching today.. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we landit's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern". We have one or two in here! While serving in Vietnam, my friend and his buddies were hunkered down in a mud-filled hole that had been dug into the side of a berm and covered with lumber for protection. Climbing out of the wreckage, Brian asked Tommy, Any idea where we are?, I think were pretty close to where we crashed last year Brian, 5. We were an Air Force family, but our son could not grasp that fact. If it doesnt move, pick it up. When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking cigars to make myself look more mature. Forty years later, Dad met the man responsible, and he told him how impressed he had been. The Coast Guard often gets its share of jokes starting with the fact that it was formerly part of the Department of Transportation (now Homeland Security) and not the Department of Defense . What do you call a Marine that has an IQ of 160? Problems reported by Pilots and Solutions noted by Aircraft Engineers in aircraft Technical Logs. Can You Name All 8 United States Uniformed Services? 11. While serving as chief medical officer at Fort Ritchie in Maryland, I attended a nearby wedding. 33. Not to mention, when spending many hours deployed and away from home, telling jokes and connecting through humor is the best way to avoid the difficulty of real life. Pointing to the Airborne wings on my Army uniform, I explained, The last time someone gave me wings, I had to jump out of the airplane.. 4. Aboard a troop carrier crossing the Atlantic, I noticed a seasick pal of mine losing it over the railing alongside several other soldiers. Flight Announcements 4. 17. The steaming jungles of Vietnam were not my husbands first choice of places to spend his 21st birthday. 5. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. Theyre U.S. AF! 3. you cant do both. I was awakened late one night by a phone call from nearby Fort Meade, in Maryland. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them There are three rules in this mess hall- Shut up! 'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant. In large gold letters was printed: TRASH. Funny military jokes are a great way to bring some morale to our service people, so whip out a few of these military jokes at your next gathering of family or friends to get some guaranteed laughs. While on maneuvers in the Mojave Desert, our convoy got lost, forcing our lieutenant to radio for help. Next to your name, the sergeant said, initial it. The sergeants reply: Completely, sir.. The irate sergeant scrambled back up amid guffaws and barked, Those who laughed, get down and give me 20! A.J. Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you? the During that first roll call in the Army, I waited in dread as the sergeant got to my name: DiFeliciantonio. The MPs read the letter, saluted, and left. All you have to do is remove the dirt.. Ask the Marines to secure a building and they will charge in, kill everybody inside, and then set up defenses to make sure nobody gets in. You know you cant outrun a bear, right?, The soldier said, The way I see it, I just have to outrun you.. Anytime someone asked what his father did, hed say, Hes in the Army. I told him umpteen times, Stop telling people Im in the Army! It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form for kindergarten, under fathers profession, the teacher wrote, He doesnt know what his father does, but hes not in the Army.. Aircraft Pilot "Radar, we're a flight of two A10s, currently overhead and, er, we've forgotten our callsign", Radar Controller: "No problem, we'll allocate temporary ones: adopt callsign Stupid One and Stupid Two". He was holding a toothbrush, which he proceeded to use to scrub underneath the rim of a toilet. Even his son turned up. Next time I send a damn fool, I go myself., My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Awesome page, I came out of the US Army in 92. If you want it any closer than that, youll have to bite em off from the inside.. The hotshot said over the air, "Anything you can do, I can do better". Marine Approved is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associate Program. An Army ranger, Air Force P.J., Navy seal, and a Recon Marine. Airmens mess, sir.. Dad always bragged about the gunners on his ship. Why did the optometrist set his clock to military time? and his platoon of recruits were marching, their sergeant slipped and tumbled down a ravine. Thats my wifes breast pump.. "OK Suzy" said the teacher, "please tell the class your. One day, while out snapping photos, I was stopped by the military police, who asked for my letter from public affairs. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool. How did I know my new coworker was a veteran? 2. He snapped off a salute and responded, I dont know, sir! Turning to the sergeant, he asked, Gunnery, where is my foxhole? He then made his way to my side. Anecdotes 2. Sure, its hilarious to poke fun at rival branches sometimes. ", The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with "I made it out of DC-8 parts. While waiting every one will come by multiple times except yours, 62. 1) In World War II, a German U-boat was sunk because of a malfunctioning toilet. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Sure!With that, he revved up the razor, clipped off my sideburns, and gave them to me. Whats the difference between the Boys Scouts and the Army? My startled classmate sat up and responded, Place a temporary filling, sir!. There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane, 20. Thats Daddy. It was our first day on the rifle range at Lackland Air Force Base. 9. Anytime someone asked what his father did, hed say, Hes in the Army. I told him Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you. In-dough-structible If you have a military joke you think our readers would like then send it to [email protected]. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Hey, Im from Chicago too!. Six Triple Eight Film by Tyler Perry Is Coming to Netflix, Havana Syndrome Still a Mystery, but Foreign Involvement Unlikely, After a Storied Career, Paris Davis Is Finally Receiving His Medal of Honor, Here are 200 Remote Jobs for Veterans in 2023. An officer asked if I knew what it meant. A joke told repeatedly at aviation industry conferences puts a man and a dog in an airplane. The Pentagon announced that its fight against ISIS will be called Operation Inherent Resolve. Sometimes I think war is Gods way of teaching us geography. From the plane came a laconic southern voice: . Air Force Says OKEY DOKEY?. And you also make me nervous when you visit.. U.S. Navy Warship: We are a large warship of the United States Navy. One day you will walk out to your aircraft NOT KNOWING that it is your last flight. Pilot "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. DeFrigNo! After working his magic, the barber exclaimed, There you go, Yank. Then one day I couldnt find it. How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is halfway over? Navy and CG Say HOOOOOYAH! She has a Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of Alabama in Huntsville. Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ..I Shall Fear No Evil. What do you call a training sergeant who's very kind and respectful? Where is your foxhole, Lieutenant? I asked. While serving as chief medical officer at Fort Ritchie in Maryland, I attended a nearby wedding. Do not communicate with officers using only Madonna lyrics. ", "Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh. 3. Trust us; we have plenty of those, too. However, the mood was brightened when he received a birthday cake from his sister. Sure enough, a few weeks later, I lost my key. The captain returned my salute and responded, LMD 67. Everything from puns to some sarcastic one-liners are included in the Army jokes below to crack on an Army member you know and love. Why do members of the military often marry lovers from the foreign countries they were deployed in? We were an Air Force family, but our son could not grasp that fact. My friend stopped, turned around, and glared at the airman. He was holding a toothbrush, which he proceeded to use to scrub underneath the rim of Its important that soldiers learn from their mistakes; otherwise, theyre bound to repeat them at inopportune moments. She told me she warships them. And we don't even wonder 'why' because one has to twiddle their thumbs one way or another. A Flight Attendant's comment after a less than perfect landing; We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal, 17. In the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments, 23. Read more. Do not attempt to shave with fire. The Marine said Are you crazy? He nodded. No, we dont, she said. The cruiser opened up, shells furiously flying all around During World War II, my father often found himself stuck with KP duty. We recommend our users to update the browser. ", The customs agent began his interrogation "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband, or illegal drugs in your possession? S | Almost replaced left inside main tire. As an Amazon Associate, I earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. For more information about us or joining the team, check out the About Us tab. A PETTY officer! Sent a recruit to medical-supplies office in search of fallopian tubes Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate, 18. He says, Anyway, enough about me. Students are great about sending our troops letters, and the troops love em. Thanks.. This website is not affiliated with the United States Marine Corps, and the information on this website does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Marine Corps as a whole. How many pilots does it take to screw in a light bulb? His reply was quick and to the point: You didnt.. Well, I, too, am a SEASONED Veteran! They cant seem to string three Ws together. When the the Marine came back the Soldier nodded and thanked him for the drink, very pleased he pulled one over on the Marine. We know that there are hundreds and hundreds of military jokes out there. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. S | No 2 propeller seepage normal - No 1, No 3, and No 4 propellers lack normal seepage. There was one particular sergeant that worried about everything possible. Learn from the mistakes of others. There are optimists and pessimists in aviation. What would you do if you came upon an injured man with a steering wheel embedded in his chest? Nervous and unsure, I blurted out, Drive him to the hospital? For some reason, the rest of the room found this hilarious. When the plane was descending for the landing, the Marine put his boots back on and quickly realized the Soldier had been spitting in his boots. Air Traffic Control 6. USN: Helos This happened several times times throughout the flight. They sure grow up fast, dont they?. Where is your foxhole, Lieutenant? I asked. A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after landing with his approach speed just a little too high. ! Again, no reply. You seem in a good mood., He replied, Im paying a private to do all my worrying for me.. It took the poor guy all day. Fish Food. 39. Warren and his wife Joy went to the local Air Show every year, and every year Joy would say, "Warren, I'd like to ride in that helicopter. A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. She's been working as a writer, editor, QA specialist, and SEO professional for more than four years. P | Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. 4. The tenant shook her head. Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike? One day, I was told to report to my commanding officer, who ordered me to escort Ms. Raye. You had tents?, A drill sergeant yells at his young trainee, I didnt see you at camouflage training this morning, private!, The private replies, Well, thank you very much, sir., A general gets stuck in his Jeep on the side of the road. Unfortunately for him, our lecturer caught him. Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board. As A.J. 14. When I heard him describe the impending birth of his first child as when the baby has boots on the ground.. My friend has a really toxic relationship with Navy vessels. Caller: Do you have his right number? Evidently, one of my classmates found the talk less than stimulating and fell asleep. Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind. Long Haul She also liked her scotch. It does look like its been fished out from the bottom of the sea.. An old Marine Sergeant was standing near the edge of the puddle with his fishing line in a puddle. Military jokes, Aviation humor, Military humor Explore Education Career Save From scontent-mxp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net Military Jokes N Nawar K. 644 followers More information Military Jokes Army Humor Funny Photos Funny Images Aviation Humor History Jokes Warrior Quotes Stupid Funny Memes Hilarious More information . Whats the difference between a fighter pilot and a fighter jet? Why do optometrists set their clocks to military time? A military private saying I learned this in boot camp ", "Sir" she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now". He is the Founder and . Aircraft Engineers 1. He did his daredevil tricks over, and over again, but still not a word. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal, 22. My friend, an Air Force officer, was riding his scooter when he passed an airman who didnt salute. 10. You might be in the Coast Guard if you abbreviate words so much that you forget how to spell them out. The military has a long, proud tradition of pranking recruits. 42. Reproduction of any part of this website without direct permission is prohibited. The steaming jungles of Vietnam were not my husbands first choice of places to spend his 21st birthday. Then one day I couldnt find it. He replied, When they stopped shooting at me.. The real definition of USCG is Uncle Sams Confused Group.. Ramrod straight, each would respond, Marine Air Group 36, sir or Second Marine Division, General. Then there was one young private. What is a Soldiers least favorite month? How tough? Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. If pilots screw up, they die. I met his wife and baby and was impressed that he had all his flight gear During KP duty, my sergeant ordered me to prepare 100 gallons of soup for that nights dinner. This program is designed to provide a way for websites to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon. Guys, do you know some jokes related to military aviation? You should always use any of that variety of jokes sparingly. Marine: Wait, stop. Comedian Martha Raye was a great supporter of the military and made many trips to Vietnam to entertain the troops. Military Aviation Humor | Civil Aviation Humor | Life in the Military | Submit a Joke Waxing his plane A pilot got up bright and early, and told his wife he was going to wash and wax his plane. "Ah", the fighter pilot remarked "The dreaded Seven-Engine approach", 12. My husbands cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. During the question-and-answer period, he was asked, How did you know the war was over? Discussion Board on this Military Joke. Military Aviation Humor | Civil Aviation Humor | Life in the Military | Submit a Joke Aunt Mary is an F-16 pilot A fifth-grade teacher told her students "I'd like for one of you to tell the class a story with a moral", so little Suzy raised her hand. When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking cigars to make myself look more mature. Unfortunately, the sun was shining through a porthole right onto his face. Unless you pull the stick too far back, then they get bigger again very quickly". Both have been racing sled dogs for decades. Military jokes! Dad always bragged about the gunners on his ship. The Marines will kill everyone inside and then set up headquarters. Me: No. Why won't you kiss me? SUB sandwiches! ", "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?". The U.S. Navy uses the stars to navigate. In college, my freshman-year roommate was in ROTC and came from a long line of military men. Reluctantly, he showed it to me. Yeah, I got in a lot of trouble for that, the gunner said. I just put them all together for your amusement. One day an airman, an Army soldier, and a Marine were talking about the hardships they faced during their last deployment. 46. On an internal Flight with a very Senior Flight Attendant crew, the pilot said, Ladies and Gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. However, even with full power, the little plane could not handle the load and went down a few moments after take-off. We thought we would try to share as many with you as possible.

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